Not strong enough for You Tube..

When I started this blog I promised myself I wouldn't really bring my Bipolar Disorder into it, well at least I wouldn't do it often....well that was the plan.  I won't go on and on about this but I just wanted to say it here.

I made a You Tube channel a while ago and it wasn't popular or anything and I didn't make videos that regular, in fact there was over a year gap between videos, but recently I bought a fake palette on ebay and I made a video about it, comparing it to the real one. 

It wasn't a very good video to be honest, the camera was crap and I repeated myself often, but I still uploaded it and at this point it has had 10k views, but what I didn't expect was people commenting calling me an "idiot" or a "fucking bitch who knows nothing" (these comments have been removed).  I was gobsmacked with the negativity and it just made me sink.  
I know you will say well that's how people can be, but I really wasn't prepared for that, not at all.  So after a few emails from other people saying I was an idiot I reverted to my old way of coping with stress...I started to cut.

I have had some positive comments too, but I think everyone does always tend to focus on the negative ones more, I have always tried to be a people pleaser and this just left me hurt and confused.  So this week I decided I wasn't going to make anymore "Real vs Fake" videos on You Tube, I can't take the criticism, I know people are entitled to their opinions but I have always thought, what is the point of being nasty about it?

I probably will still make the "odd" video about my makeup collection or my favourites (if you would like to see them) but I won't be making any videos that opens me up to that much nastiness.

Sorry if this post goes on a bit, I know I am acting like I had this huge channel and that its a big issue that I am walking away from it, but I just wanted to get this out of my head.

Raych xoxo


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